3 Lame excuses that worked in class

The past week has been a bit hectic. With all those Bi-weekly tests and RPI exams, not to mention the class-quizzes, we've had to study a lot more. Well, MP seems to be very happy for some reason, and he promised us centralized AC by next month. As a front bencher, the heat and suffocation was really getting to me.
Also, about last week, we saw our f1 juniors for the first time. I'll have to admit, though, they're a gazillion times nerdier than us. Or at least for now. Fortunately/Unfortunately for them, they haven't got PMS-- poor things. Let's see how well they do in physics. Speaking of physics, we won't be seeing PMS very often, for the next two months. Of late, he's been leaving us a bit early at 4, so either he's exhausted from all that teaching or he's disappointed with us for some strange reason.

Anyway, let's get to the main topic here: Excuses. I've heard many weird ones in the past, and they magically worked for weird people. Let's start of with this one from Davidson:

PMS: Ah, Davidson! What's the time?

Davidson(Smiles, bobs his head up and down, checks his watch): 8.10 am, sir.

PMS: And why are you late?

Davidson(Bobs his head up and down again, smiles): ---

PMS: Okay, when did you wake up?

Davidson(Keeps smiling): ----

PMS: TELL ME, DAMMIT!

Davidson(Smile slowly fades away): Umm... 7:30, sir...

PMS: What?!? So you just woke up, threw on some clothes, and ran here?
Davidson(Smiles again, faintly nods): ----

PMS: Ah, okay. Get in. Wake up early next time.

Don't ask me how that worked. Was it Davidson's face? The second on this list would be Sagnik:

PMS: Oh, you. I'm not allowing you inside...

Sagnik: Sir, I'm neither dead nor dying!

PMS: ROFLOL! That was a real cracker! Come in!

Point taken. Crack a joke, next time you're late for physics. But, for chemistry, try this approach by Pranav:

CVM: Shabba, Pranav, why didn't you do the package?

Pranav: Sir, it got mixed up-

CVM: (You know what happens, after that he leaves the class)

Or, even better:

CVM: Why are you late? And what's that bandage on your arm?

Pranav: Sir, I was walking down the street when I saw a girl almost getting crashed into by a speeding car. I ran at full speed and pushed her aside, and got a scratch in the arm. I went to a nearby hospital, and they wrapped some cotton and a bandage there.

CVM: (Blinks, starts teaching again)

Magic, eh? There are lots of other gems out there, and let's end the post with this one:

Q. Why are you late?

A. My father overslept.

Are we born with Intelligence?

Ah, finally.  A boring, long post for the first time. If you have some homework left, or you're a lazy reader like Abishek Sudarshan, skip. Anyway, going back to the question: Are we born with intelligence?

This is a question that does not have a clear answer. Odds are that you've  heard of at least 4-5 different answers to this question. Well, at least I have. Let me list some of them.

First, the theories directly answering the question:

• Theory A: There's nothing such as born-intelligence. You are what you made of yourself. The only way to become intelligent is through hard work and patience. If you spend your time diligently, you'll gain a lot of intelligence. The so-called 'toppers' you see around you worked hard to get to this point. To put it short, here's the deal: The more time you spend studying, the more intelligent you become.
• Theory B: Obviously, intelligence is something you're born with. It's all in the genes. The more intelligent your mom/dad/grandpa/grandma/uncle is, the more intelligent you are. If you were dumb yesterday, you'll stay dumb. No point trying to improve. You're stuck the way you are.

Yeah, you've heard about the first one much more than the second. A's optimistic and positive, and most teachers say this to students in despair. B isn't what you would call pleasant-- but admit it, that's what sounds plausible, isn't it?

Okay, before we look into that, one observation: Both these theories hint that intelligence is pretty important in life. Now, let's see some other theories that have a partial/complete disregard for intelligence, and say that success in life depend on other things!

• Theory C: Intelligence doesn't matter. It's how you use that intelligence, however big or small, that counts. And that's called smartness. If you're smart, that'll get you far in life. Develop your smartness and reap the benefits. If you're not convinced, check this out. That's how it works!
• Theory D: Who cares about intelligence? Follow your heart. Find your passion. Cultivate your interests. You're automatically good in what you like, so don't worry about intelligence! 
• Theory E: C.V Raman's own words: "I admit, success in life is not always to the intelligent or the strong and it is to some extent a bit of a gamble, but nonetheless those who have got their minds right and those who know their job will sooner or later, sooner perhaps than later make their way in life".

All these answers sound nice and philosophical, don't they? For a word that doesn't have any fixed meaning, intelligence serves more or less a great topic for wise story-tellers, teachers and blog-posters to discuss about. Oh, and let me sign off with a great Confucius quote:

“When we have intelligence resulting from sincerity, this condition is to be ascribed to nature; when we have sincerity resulting from intelligence, this condition is to be ascribed to instruction. But given the sincerity, and there shall be the intelligence; given the intelligence, and there shall be the sincerity.”

 To be honest, what the hell is he talking about? Naah, can't waste time on philosophy right now.
See ya next time, fellas!