Why I would vote for 'The Captain'

Disclaimer: This is a very long blog post and contains political views which might influence your political views.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Last time I posted, I seem to have mentioned the then upcoming Internal Tests. Kids around here were studying pretty hard for them, because the tests would determine what batch they would land up in, for the revision classes: The Alpha Batch, Beta Batch and the Gamma Batch. Our results were horrible, to say the least-- The top mark from our class wouldn't have crossed 45%. The top 3 in the tests were from the F2 section. Apparently, the overall topper had scored 45/180 in the first paper and 170/180 in the second. A real shocker.

Well, to some students' relief, the teachers had decided that due to our poor performance, there would be no segregation at all. All that preparation hadn't gone to waste, though; we had our first AIiTS soon after.

Also, in the past week, we created some sort of record in class. We managed to annoy 3 teachers (Yes, 3 teachers- Eng, CSc and Pandit) successively without getting Chandrasekhar sir angry. Annoying our English teacher wasn't too difficult-- we all collectively started moaning 'K-R' at the beginning of class; and voila!

Just after Pandit's class, we were copying a ray diagram from the board when our CS sir walked in. He wasn't very amused, and although the next day was the computer exam, he gave his period to Pandit. Pandit apparently 'promised' to let us home by 3, and a small misunderstanding led to him becoming angry. He made us study for the exam in that period.

That done, let me shift to the main topic... Politics. Yes, politics. I spend more than 20 minutes every day reading the newspaper (no sports) and after the number of biased political articles I've read, I felt the need to write one and spread awareness of politics--at the state level, to begin with--to my peers.

I find it a bit saddening that most students today don't like the state India is in, and don't want to change it either. Every other student I meet says "I don't care about politics; I'm not going to vote". 

In Tamil Nadu, there are 3 major leaders we get to choose between during elections. Voting for anyone else is equivalent to a NULL vote, at least in the bigger picture. The three biggies are:

1. A grand old guy (not Shubham) who writes Tamil poems,
2. A lady who thinks she's got everything under control,and
3. Captain.

Namma Captain

I shall be explaining, one by one, why you should elect Captain to power in the next state elections. I'm not talking about Dhoni, but a captain with far, far greater powers. Most of you might laugh at what I'm saying right now; but trust me, by the end of this article, you'll... probably still laugh. *sigh*

Anyway, here goes.

1. Courage: You'd expect a good leader to be a person of bravery and strength. Captain casually strolled into the political arena at a time when there were only two players. Takes guts, fellas. The fact that Captain managed to gather 3 million people at the time only indicates the fearlessness and popularity that Captain enjoys.
2. Powers: As you might have observed, Captain boasts of an arsenal of powers. I'm not talking about the powers that come with leadership, nor eye power. Captain can do anything he wants; including flying across buildings, making others think of him as a 20-year old, and doing his detective work on Windows Media Player. There, I gave you some proof too.
3. Kindness: Once, there was this car driver who had this story to tell me:
   "A week ago, I visited Captain's party office, at lunch time, and the moment I went in, they asked: Did you eat, sir? Obviously, I said No, of course not. Then, immediately, they gave me a plate of chicken biriyani. My vote goes to Captain!!"
   I don't know why the driver went to the office, but what would you prefer, 1Kg rice for 10 Rupees or a plate of Chicken Biriyani for free? 
4. Mass Leader: Although he does possess a lot of mass, he's also a leader of the masses. See, he turns up for most of his speeches drunk (doesn't make a big difference, anyway) and yet, manages to deliver. Manages to convince people. Manages to talk like a leader. Clearly, there is something that differentiates him from the rest. He's not human.

I hope that we all agree now on who our best leader is.
See you all next time.
Auro

JEE Journey: The Andhra Factor

Two years ago, I made a decision.

I would get admission into one of the top-rated Andhra coaching centers, and reap the benefits 4 years later. I'd go with determination, and come back a hero.

You want to take on me? Seriously? Stupid mortal.

Luckily, my grandfather stopped me from going there, and I joined FIITJEE in Chennai instead. But then, how could I possibly handle the Andhra competition? I barely study for 3 hours a day...4  if I have an exam the next day. Compare this to 7 or 8 hours a day.
Yes, we all know it-- they treat children like prisoners, but I only realized now, to what extent they are willing to agonize poor students to get ranks. If you can, take a moment to read this.

My physics sir told us that day why we should sympathize with AP-Students rather than be scared of them.

According to that blog post, students are given 15 minutes in the morning to do their duties, and the rest of the day is scheduled for classes and study hours, with limited breaks here and there. The food isn't exactly appreciated either: rice and curry for 362 days a year, and nothing else. A student gets two trips to home per year, and one visit from his/her parents on his birthday. Students are allowed to go out of the campus only once a month- for 45 minutes, to get a haircut.

Some centers even leak exam papers beforehand. They give the question papers to their students, along with the solutions, and make them memorize the answers. This happens especially for the state board exams. With the JEE Mains having a 40% 12th score as a factor, aren't the honest aspirants cheated of their hard work? The most corrupt coaching center wins. 

And the worst part is: The students who come out of those factories don't repent about it either. The intense cruelty they face probably becomes routine to them-- and when they do go to college, they become free birds, and implode.

JEE is not the only insanely competitive test that students fry their brains for-- they face the same amount of competition even for local engineering colleges and even medical seats. Some coaching centers boast of armies in all three. Those students who don't take coaching are, well-- forced to. So we can't blame the students, nor their parents. They all will probably realize one day that not all kids will/want to become engineers and doctors.

If you're a JEE aspirant and you're not from Andhra, don't be scared about your rank. As a famous Pandit once said, studying in a cramped environment only hampers the learning process; it makes your brain mechanical. Studying in a free environment improves you all-round thinking/learning skills, and you'll probably notice that once you join college.

Still pessimistic? Let me tell you how to actually gain the upper hand over them:

• Study for 7+ hours a day. The topper in my centre has a schedule like this: Study from 5pm to 11 pm, and wake up at 3 in the morning to have an extra 3 hours of study. That makes 9 hours.... it makes me feel kinda stupid right now, writing about it...
• Follow our math(s) sir's advice: Study for 10 hours a day. Oh, wait. Have I already mentioned that? My bad. 
• Stop all distractions: Yeah, you guessed it. If you're really that passionate to beat the AP-dudes, just click once on the little red cross at the top-right corner of this page and open your book. Also, no TV, no Music, no Hanging out with friends, no Phone, no Junk food. And if you're a XII F1 guy, NO HAND CRICKET.

If you're not able to do those, then just stop worrying about it and relax. Watch this. And anyway, 500 students from Andhra were sent back from counselling because they failed to come in the top 20% of their board. So there'd be much less competition.

P.S: I urgently need an editor. Yes, I understand this blog is small and pathetic and that I'm overly pessimistic and sarcastic, but I've been driving up an excellent revenue (About 7 rupees so far) from this website, and having an editor would surely drive up the cash. Email me if you want to sign up!

P.P.S: Also, all the best for the PDT tomorrow. It's our first Reshuffling test!

A Day in the life of a Careless Schoolboy

Morning, 6:00am
I wake up, groggy eyed. As I brush my teeth, I wonder: Why can't they give us a day off, at least to prepare for the math exam? The quarterly exam's tomorrow, and I haven't studied a bit yesterday, so that leaves a lot to prepare today. Since only the FIITJEE section is working, I decide to wear sandals to school- nobody's gonna care anyway, right?

7:15am
I wait in the auto (which takes me to school,along with Saiduth and Rohit) and whistle to myself. Saiduth comes out, with his math textbook in hand. I glance at him and smile.
Auro:"You've become quite the nerd, haven't you?"
Saiduth:"Look who's talking! So you studied anything yesterday?"
A:"Didn't open the textbook. Why, you finished? Gonna relax today, huh?"
S:"Yeah, I finished because we have an exam today."
I laugh.
A:"Don't start pulling my leg now. We have full-day FIITJEE today!"
S:"No, we have a test, and then FIITJEE!"
A:"Serious. Are you kidding me??!?"
S:"No! Ask Rohit if you will!"
5 minutes later: (Rohit enters)
A:"Dude, we really have a test today?"
Please say no.
Rohit:"Yes, obviously... why, you didn't know?" *hee hee*
A:"Wha.... but... I thought today was only FIITJEE?"
R:"No, I checked the timetable too."
S:"Auro, lol, you're dead meat if you're not bluffing.."
A:"Give me that book!"
I snatch the book from his hand, and he kindly does not take it back.

How I felt whilst writing the paper

7:45am
My mind is chaotic, and is overflowing with formulas and equations. I check my time. 15 minutes to go! I go through my check-list: Good chapters, finished. Boring chapters, almost. Wow-- the human brain's really efficient under pressure! This is literally mind-blowing! I should write about this on the blog some day... hey, wait a minute, I've wasted a minute! Curse you, brain!

8:15am
I'm sitting in my room, with my eyes focused on the text book. I hear someone whining about studying only for 2 hours for the exam. I chuckle, both at him and myself.
The teacher walks into the exam room, shouts at us to arrange the benches, and distributes the papers. She tells us to start the test.
I look around. Sagnik is studying the paper, and most others are frantically writing. I look at my question paper. A string of thoughts flood my mind:
Trigonometry. Parabola. Ellipse. Formula? Write. Meow. Question 6 easy. Bzzzzzzzzz...
I sit in static for 5 minutes. I take a long, hard look at the paper, and lift my pen. I'll do the easy questions first, and somehow manage the paper...

10:00am
Turns out the questions are easier than they look. Either that or I'm not doing anything right. For each problem, especially trigonometry, I spend a good 5 minutes on R&D, and then proceed to answering it. Also, considering that I have only about an hour left, I try to get faster. I still can't believe my carelessness.

11:00am
I finish the exam. I'm not too happy with my performance, but not very depressed about it either. I walk at snails' pace to my classroom, discussing the answers with my peers. A chilling thought enters my mind, as I sit in my place. What will I say to mom at home today? As I ponder over the alternatives, MP walks in.
He slowly comes over to my place, and asks (with that scary sober face): "How was the paper today?".
I smile.

Fellow classmates, let me end the story over here, as what happened after this is not very pleasing to hear.

Note: Yeah, it is a true story. Half-yearly Exam, Class 11, 2012. Here's my excuse for producing such a boring article-- time constraints do not permit creativity.
So long, till next week!

6 Qualities that make a Perfect Batch

Hai guys. 12th is really, really hectic, so I've not been able to post anything for a very long time. I've made myself some time now, so here's one more of my logical-analysis rants. But before that, a quick recap of what happened over the previous 2 weeks:

Pandit ManikandaSamy got furious with us once again, a week ago (I think we didn't bring our FIITJEE NCERT notebooks or something, or more probably, our juniors got him angry). He followed the usual punishment- Finish the chapter lightspeed. Luckily for us, it was the 4th/5th time we were doing various-object-fields, and we could understand what he was teaching.

Delete the AC comment I made a couple of months ago, the vile contractor got everything fixed but the switch. And the equation is simple-- No switch, No AC. And every rain that came in the last month came only in the afternoon, after school was over. Even the rain gods ensured that we both burnt in class and never got a holiday.

On a lighter note, everyone in the class seems to have gained an affinity for smacking Saiduth on the head. Even the guy at the kiosk outside started picking on Saiduth (and me, to a little extent). Saiduth almost never had proper change, only 50 and 100 rupee notes. The kiosk dude would stuff a puff into Saiduth's hands, and charge 15 rupees. Ouch...
 Anyway, we later hatched a plan that made the kiosk guy the laughing stock of everyone in near vicinity. Sweet revenge.

We also nearly gave Chandrasekharan VenkataMadhavan a heart attack when we finished the solid state package a day before the due date. Looks like sincerity in our class quadrupled. Even Akshay spent his free time at school doing the chemistry package. Whoa.


The near-perfect class.

This makes me wonder- How would a perfect batch be? Let me begin on one more of my philosophical ventures:

1. Sincere: No-brainer. An insincere batch would be paying far less attention to studies than it should-- making it more of hypocrisy and a wastage of the FIITJEE fees.
2. Efficient: Of course. Sathiaraj Sir got this drilled into our minds an year ago. A perfect batch must be diligent in its work, and must complete all work in time. Handling a sloppy-but-sincere batch is like trying to teach a donkey math... which is useless.
3. Well-behaved: No one would like to teach a bunch of jabbering monkeys. As teachers so beautifully put it, pin-drop-silence is a must for the perfect batch.
4. Packed with Geniuses? This is a toughie for sure. Would a batch of brainy-powerhouses be better than a batch with slightly lower IQs? Does the quantity of the student-elites matter more than the quality of their studies? MVM produced most of the top ranks, but the selection ratio was higher for CV. The TF batch has all the strongies (Much like RCB) but our batch has a more uniform distribution (CSK, anyone?). So which is better? 
5. Interactive: Again, this comes at a price. Our batch is very, very interactive, but we usually think outside the box. Way outside the box, actually. Sometimes, during class discussions on various topics (Eg. How to engineer a motor), we (especially Abhishek) come up with all kinds of answers and ideas which annoy our teachers... but the TF batch, on the other hand, is so silent I get headaches sitting in that class.
6. Happy: This goes hand-in-hand with the previous point. Happiness is what separates someone from the poor kids at coaching centers like Narayana, Chaitanya etc. and turns him/her into an educated person rather than a problem-solving robot. Any happy batch (with happy teachers too, of course) is destined to be a great batch.

Actually, imagining a class with the above qualities is near-impossible, at least from a teacher's point of view. Remember, Physics  Pandit sir once told us that any student who never made fun of his teacher wasn't a student in the first place? That blatantly violates #3.
All said, in my view, the perfect batch is the imperfect batch.
Bye bye, everyone.

Summer Fever, IPL fever, Viral fever and more

Well, I haven't posted for a long time, and for good reason too. The previous two weeks were boring, lack-luster weeks without almost no activity at all, except for a couple of noteworthy incidents.
PMS had a 'talk' with us last week, about his being 'harshit'. He promised--no, clarified that he would only beat students with a high capacitance-- no, capacity-- and kept true to his word.
The first was 3 days ago. We had PMS for the morning, as usual, and he became angry, or rather disappointed, after Sagnik didn't submit his NCERT notebook. He launched himself into a turbo mode with an 800% increase in teaching speed. After an hour of continuous dictating-writing, we had Chemistry.
CVM sir, on discovering that quite a few didn't balance iodoform reactions (well, he asked us to balance them the previous day), his heart rate increased quadruple. He shouted, and my heart skipped a beat (Poor Anand). There was a moment of stunned silence in the class, followed by more shouting. After chemistry was over and CVM was relieved of his misery, we had physics again, and PMS looked visibly happier. The only logical conclusion I have is that he heard CVM too.
Our midphase was pretty normal. As usual, I screwed up chemistry, but our class made a marked improvement. CVM sir told us to write in a more... NCERTish way for the Bi-Weekly, and most ended up having to take extra time. Unfortunately, PMS came in before we could, and no one could finish on time.
All said, we get AC classrooms from tomorrow, and we can study happily ever after. We get summer holidays in a couple of weeks.
Our juniors had their first fiitjee PTM yesterday, while we get our first one on May-End. Why doesn't fiitjee take an interest in our class? We had no reshuffling test either- not that I'm complaining, just saying.
Oh, and about our holidays, what are you going to do during those magic days? How about an international vacation? Or olympiad preparation? Let me guess: The IPL. The CSK faction of our class seems to be pretty happy right now, and I'm willing to bet CSK will end up at the top of the points table. Haha, my sadism took a high last year when CSK lost the finals last year. I hope that continues. As I write, CSK plays. Hey, Murali Vijay is OUT! Awesome. I won't be surprised if CSK scores lower than 80.
One more thing, there's a viral fever out there in the city. About 6 of them contracted it already, so be careful. If you want to stay out of this, don't:

• Eat ice-cream
• Drink Pepsi
• Switch on the AC
• Eat delicious mangoes
• Take a swim
• Watch the IPL

And here we are at the end of this boring, inconclusive post. Next post next week!

Bye-Bye!

3 Lame excuses that worked in class

The past week has been a bit hectic. With all those Bi-weekly tests and RPI exams, not to mention the class-quizzes, we've had to study a lot more. Well, MP seems to be very happy for some reason, and he promised us centralized AC by next month. As a front bencher, the heat and suffocation was really getting to me.
Also, about last week, we saw our f1 juniors for the first time. I'll have to admit, though, they're a gazillion times nerdier than us. Or at least for now. Fortunately/Unfortunately for them, they haven't got PMS-- poor things. Let's see how well they do in physics. Speaking of physics, we won't be seeing PMS very often, for the next two months. Of late, he's been leaving us a bit early at 4, so either he's exhausted from all that teaching or he's disappointed with us for some strange reason.

Anyway, let's get to the main topic here: Excuses. I've heard many weird ones in the past, and they magically worked for weird people. Let's start of with this one from Davidson:

PMS: Ah, Davidson! What's the time?

Davidson(Smiles, bobs his head up and down, checks his watch): 8.10 am, sir.

PMS: And why are you late?

Davidson(Bobs his head up and down again, smiles): ---

PMS: Okay, when did you wake up?

Davidson(Keeps smiling): ----

PMS: TELL ME, DAMMIT!

Davidson(Smile slowly fades away): Umm... 7:30, sir...

PMS: What?!? So you just woke up, threw on some clothes, and ran here?
Davidson(Smiles again, faintly nods): ----

PMS: Ah, okay. Get in. Wake up early next time.

Don't ask me how that worked. Was it Davidson's face? The second on this list would be Sagnik:

PMS: Oh, you. I'm not allowing you inside...

Sagnik: Sir, I'm neither dead nor dying!

PMS: ROFLOL! That was a real cracker! Come in!

Point taken. Crack a joke, next time you're late for physics. But, for chemistry, try this approach by Pranav:

CVM: Shabba, Pranav, why didn't you do the package?

Pranav: Sir, it got mixed up-

CVM: (You know what happens, after that he leaves the class)

Or, even better:

CVM: Why are you late? And what's that bandage on your arm?

Pranav: Sir, I was walking down the street when I saw a girl almost getting crashed into by a speeding car. I ran at full speed and pushed her aside, and got a scratch in the arm. I went to a nearby hospital, and they wrapped some cotton and a bandage there.

CVM: (Blinks, starts teaching again)

Magic, eh? There are lots of other gems out there, and let's end the post with this one:

Q. Why are you late?

A. My father overslept.

Are we born with Intelligence?

Ah, finally.  A boring, long post for the first time. If you have some homework left, or you're a lazy reader like Abishek Sudarshan, skip. Anyway, going back to the question: Are we born with intelligence?

This is a question that does not have a clear answer. Odds are that you've  heard of at least 4-5 different answers to this question. Well, at least I have. Let me list some of them.

First, the theories directly answering the question:

• Theory A: There's nothing such as born-intelligence. You are what you made of yourself. The only way to become intelligent is through hard work and patience. If you spend your time diligently, you'll gain a lot of intelligence. The so-called 'toppers' you see around you worked hard to get to this point. To put it short, here's the deal: The more time you spend studying, the more intelligent you become.
• Theory B: Obviously, intelligence is something you're born with. It's all in the genes. The more intelligent your mom/dad/grandpa/grandma/uncle is, the more intelligent you are. If you were dumb yesterday, you'll stay dumb. No point trying to improve. You're stuck the way you are.

Yeah, you've heard about the first one much more than the second. A's optimistic and positive, and most teachers say this to students in despair. B isn't what you would call pleasant-- but admit it, that's what sounds plausible, isn't it?

Okay, before we look into that, one observation: Both these theories hint that intelligence is pretty important in life. Now, let's see some other theories that have a partial/complete disregard for intelligence, and say that success in life depend on other things!

• Theory C: Intelligence doesn't matter. It's how you use that intelligence, however big or small, that counts. And that's called smartness. If you're smart, that'll get you far in life. Develop your smartness and reap the benefits. If you're not convinced, check this out. That's how it works!
• Theory D: Who cares about intelligence? Follow your heart. Find your passion. Cultivate your interests. You're automatically good in what you like, so don't worry about intelligence! 
• Theory E: C.V Raman's own words: "I admit, success in life is not always to the intelligent or the strong and it is to some extent a bit of a gamble, but nonetheless those who have got their minds right and those who know their job will sooner or later, sooner perhaps than later make their way in life".

All these answers sound nice and philosophical, don't they? For a word that doesn't have any fixed meaning, intelligence serves more or less a great topic for wise story-tellers, teachers and blog-posters to discuss about. Oh, and let me sign off with a great Confucius quote:

“When we have intelligence resulting from sincerity, this condition is to be ascribed to nature; when we have sincerity resulting from intelligence, this condition is to be ascribed to instruction. But given the sincerity, and there shall be the intelligence; given the intelligence, and there shall be the sincerity.”

 To be honest, what the hell is he talking about? Naah, can't waste time on philosophy right now.
See ya next time, fellas!